Bad Experiences Own Nothing

I had a really bad experience playing Monica’s Waltz for a vocal masterclass. I wrote about why the masterclass was awful and about the people involved and I even made a whole video about it. Then I decided to sleep on it. It’s a good thing I did because when I woke up I realized there was too much emphasis on the negative aspects of it.

One of the positive things is that I don’t remember a single piece of advice the clinician had to say on any of the songs I played for. So there’s nothing of him that exists in any of the music. The experience taught me to spot these kinds of people easily. It also taught me that you can’t always warn people about them and that some people won’t see them for who they are and that’s ok. All I can do is be who I’d want to work with.

In this job I play the same songs for so many different people and each time it’s an opportunity to experience something different. So even though I remember some things about the masterclass, there’s no attachment of the bad vibes on any of the music. 

I’m grateful I get that chance with music and I wonder what else in life can be like this.

You Don’t Have To Be Bad To Be Good

You don’t have to think you’re bad at something in order to get better at it.

For most of my piano playing life, I practiced in order to get better. I practiced because I thought I wasn’t good enough. This was the kind of mentality I was raised with. Become better because you’re not good enough. And why wasn’t I good enough? Because my mom was listening for the best people in the recitals or competitions and comparing me to them. It’s what most of the parents did. It’s what a lot of people do.

A few weeks ago I finally realized that I don’t have to think this way anymore and it has helped so many other aspects of my life become better. I can just be the pianist I am today with the skills I currently have. And I can still strive to become better. And, for another example, I can like the job I have and still want better. Some things in life don't have to hit rock bottom or be incredibly unsatisfactory in order to move on to something better.

Oddly enough, many people seem to be indoctrinated with the mentality that they need to look for how bad things are or how deficient they are in comparison to others. As someone who works in an educational institution and the performing arts industry I see this all the time. This kind of mindset perpetuates the hierarchical culture of the performing arts. Is it bad? Well, it empowers the few who benefit.

Think about how this plays out in other things. Most of advertising of products rely on telling you how bad things are. How bad you’re feeling. How bad your health is. How bad something about you will be unless you purchase this product.

Stepping outside of this dynamic is a practice. It’s tough some days but worth it for the rest of them 🙂